So, here's an idea I just had recently. I decided to take the lyrics to a popular hip-hop song and translate them line-by-line into a more understandable narrative. I have cut all the slang and the curse words, and – while I was at it – all the contractions as well. The result is...well, rather ridiculous. But I also think it's kind of funny. If you're familiar with the song at all, you might be able to pick up on the humor a little bit better. If you're not familiar with it (good for you!), you may want to open this link to the original lyrics and view them side by side for full effect. I am planning to do more of these in the near future, so I really hope you enjoy it. If so, please tell me. If you think it's a dumb idea not worth pursuing further, please tell me that too. I value your opinion. Whomever you are. ~ JH
"RUN THIS TOWN"
as performed by Jay-Z featuring Rihanna & Kanye West
[Intro: Rihanna]
It is coming – I can feel it in the air.
All around me people are screaming.
The thrill of it all is quite addictive.
This love affair is rather dangerous.
I cannot fear it when it happens.
If you have a problem, please inform me now.
I am single-minded in my pursuit to know
Who is going to act as interim mayor this evening
Who is going to act as interim mayor this evening
We are going to act as interim mayors...
[Verse 1: Jay-Z]
We are
Yes, I said it
We are
This is Mythological Bird Country.
Pledge your allegiance.
Don your black t-shirts.
Everything is black.
Our cards and cars are black.
Everything is black.
Our female companions are blackbirds
Passengers with antiquated firearms.
I will elaborate further
If you gentlemen are sufficiently genuine.
This is the Spanish word for "family."
I will explain it to you later.
But for now, let me return to the subject of money.
I have lost some money recently
And I am attempting to gain it back.
I shook Doug's hand, I misplaced Mr. Wilson
For the cost of five orders of pancakes.
Yes, I am referring to the number five
Followed by a comma
Six zeros
Decimal point zero.
Here it is...
Now I am back to running circles
Around African-Americans.
We are now even.
Please wait a moment...
[Chorus: Rihanna]
Life is an unfair game.
I disregard the rules
And I could not care less.
Therefore I keep doing whatever I want to
Never stooping in a downpour.
I am one mile away from victory.
I am nearly at the finish line.
I must not quit while I am ahead.
I am single-minded in my pursuit to know
Who is going to act as interim mayor this evening.
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Who is going to act as interim mayor this evening.
Hello-hello-hello-hello...
[Verse 2: Jay-Z]
We are
Yes, I said it
We are
You may call me Caesar.
I'm an evil Russian monarch.
Please follow the leader.
So, Mr. Barrier, we are
Adept at using microphones.
It is the return of the god.
A peace god, apparently.
Ah! Ah!
No one is more popular than I am.
I am in cahoots with the Freemasons.
Ah!
Belgian fashion designer
We are yelling on this recording.
Disregard the opposition.
They are envious of me.
We have an upholstered bench
Where attractive women are sitting.
At the table are many gentleman callers.
None of them are spending any money.
They should simply fold their cards
Since they do not possess any spades.
All of my associates are wealthy.
Therefore my upholstered bench
Appears to be occupied entirely by millionaires.
[Chorus: Rihanna]
Life is an unfair game.
I disregard the rules
And I could not care less.
Therefore I keep doing whatever I want to
Never stooping in a downpour.
I am one mile away from victory.
I am nearly at the finish line.
I must not quit while I am ahead.
I am single-minded in my pursuit to know
Who is going to act as interim mayor this evening.
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Who is going to act as interim mayor this evening.
Hello-hello-hello-hello
[Verse 3: Kanye West]
It is amazing how you can go from being a regular guy
To having many people willing to cater to your every need.
I am not a homosexual.
I purchased nice automobiles for every member of my family.
None of these cars, however, were manufactured by Volvo.
The next time I attend church
I ask that you please not photograph me.
Everywhere I go I am escorted by police.
Everyone I know possesses a passport.
This is the life that everybody desires.
This life moves rapidly.
We are destined to crash into something.
Why do you think I record rap music –
So that I can afford to drive a Toyota Rav 4?
But I know that if I continue to pretend
As though I am something that I am not
My female companions will only desire one thing.
I could spend my entire life searching for good will
But that would only benefit me when I am already quite happy.
That lady has extremely large buttocks.
When she wears skimpy swimwear, it simply disappears.
However, she is not as equally well-endowed elsewhere.
I excel at rapping because I drink high-quality white wine.
My African-American associate was just released from prison.
When you make a big deal out of something unnecessarily
We really do care.
All I am attempting to do is influence your mood.
Name-brand shoes
Newborn child
You need to step outside your comfort zone a bit more.
Have you ever owned shoes that were missing their shoestrings?
Could you please repeat that, Kanye?
Dear, these are high-heeled shoes.
Is that a spring month?
What?
Dear, this is an automobile.
You are under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs
Whenever you are not drinking alcohol.
Fill up your cup again.
Do you feel as though you are jogging?
Now you know how it feels to be us.
[Outro: Rihanna]
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello
We are going to be interim mayors this evening...
[Outro: Jay-Z]
How are you doing?
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